My personal social media guidelines . . .

7 Nov

My personal social media guidelines . . .

By L. Stewart Marsden


I was there when My Space began, and the novelty of connecting with someone halfway around the planet was still mind-boggling.

That was then.

Then Facebook. Twitter. Now Instagram (which my teenage daughter says I should not participate in because “it’s just weird!

I remember AOL, and the beginning of email, and you’ve got mail!

Ah, a whole movie on that!

I will give a disclaimer that I, like many other hapless people, have been sucked into that vortex called Facebook, and have ranted, revealed, pined too much. I’ve bored everyone with my iPhone pics of family and children and vacations and sunsets and a myriad of other “stuff.” Remember George Carlin’s routine on “Stuff?”

Over time I’ve watched as “those people” have made virtual asses of themselves in a variety of ways. I’ve written comments to expose false stories, or to complain of spelling, or to “weigh in.”

In short, I have sinned on social media.

And it doesn’t matter the platform. We think of Facebook, but I’ve done it on LinkedIn and Twitter (I keep calling it Tweeter by mistake) as well. Not Instagram, because of what my daughter said.

Think about it: You go to the Bahamas. You post all of your great shots of Great Exuma to your Facebook page because you want your “friends” to know you have the money and chutzpah to take a trip outside the country, and some thief uses the information to go to your house or apartment — or worse, some friend — and take your stuff. See George Carlin.

Jimmy Kimmel has come up with a great idea, by the way: National Unfriend Day. Kind of puts the whole Facebook (and all of the other social media stuff — see George Carlin — in perspective). It’s pretty radical, and may offend. Here’s the link if you dare: It’s become quite popular, by the way.

So it got me to thinking about writing down a set of guidelines that I will try to follow in all of my social media venues. I’m a bit frightened by the prospect. There are no 12-step programs for social media addicts that I know of.

I hereby resolve:

  1. Not to post more than an average of one post per day. Recognize that this means I can save up to the end of the week and make seven posts;
  2. Not to post anything that says “like if you agree.” Things like I Hate Cancer, God is my Pilot, You Will Find Money Soon, I Like My Pet, I Love My Wife/Girl/Boyfriend/Country/Soldiers/the USA/Freedom/Unrequited love . . .
  3. Not to tell you how miserable I am or that no one understands me and I am on the brink of a complete breakdown;
  4. Not to post Donald/Hillary/or any other politician is an ass;
  5. The Democrats/Republicans are steering this nation directly to HELL!
  6. Not to post “If you know what this is …” posts;
  7. Not to post “Remember when …” posts. I’m older than the hill and I remember EVERYTHING!
  8. Not to post cute pictures of my kids picking their noses;
  9. Not to post a picture from the balcony of my hotel room in Barbados and comment tauntingly, “Don’t you wish you were me?”
  10. Not to post the death notices of famous people;

On the positive side:

  1. I will post my writing work only if I think it’s good and you should read it.
  2. I’ll make comments on posts for which I disagree with a statement.
  3. I’ll check to make sure that a post is true and somewhat accurate. By the way, Stallone, as far as I know, is still with us.
  4. I won’t “Like” just because you think I should. I generally “like” the posts of family and friends.
  5. I will also edit my posts for spelling and grammar. As a writer, I feel I need to lead in that regard. Sometimes I have to go back and edit a post. If you catch an error in grammar or spelling, please feel free to alert me. I’ll go back and edit it. By the way, there, their, and they’re are three homophones and are NOT interchangeable. You have the right to be ignorant, if you choose.

In closing (yes, I took public speaking, too), this is not an easy path to take. I will challenge you to write your own resolutions. I promise that if you do, and if you like this stuff (see George Carlin ), you will come into a sizeable amount of money within six days.


Copyright© by Lawrence S. Marsden, 6 November, 2015

7 Responses to “My personal social media guidelines . . .”

  1. InfiniteZip November 7, 2015 at 6:43 am #

    Now this just cracked me up…thanks for the early morning smile my friend😊 Number eight especially…

  2. geekcoupletab November 7, 2015 at 7:03 am #

    Ha! Loved the last line! Made me smile this very early morning

  3. cricketmuse November 7, 2015 at 8:07 am #

    I don’t Tweet, never Instagram, Tumblered briefly, lost interest in Pinterest, rarely stay LinkedIn, got rid of Facebook, and behave myself as best I can on WordPress. And George probably saw all this coming…

  4. Dave November 11, 2015 at 3:51 pm #

    Very good take on social media (Imho, people spend WAY too much time using it). I’ve no interest in Twitter(aka Tweeter), Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Periscope, etc. I still enjoy speaking to my friends/family via phone. I’m old fashioned that way.

    Love Kimmel’s “National Unfriend Day.” Count me in……….

  5. frederick anderson November 12, 2015 at 6:52 am #

    I think you’ve about got it covered! Alas, I wasn’t meant to have money…

  6. sharmishtha basu November 13, 2015 at 2:04 am #

    I am not much into social media, have to join a few recently though, but really bad in handling them to any good for myself. 😉

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