Shark!

17 Jun

 

Shark!

By L. Stewart Marsden

 

My nephew and his daughter encounter an unexpected swimming mate. Actually, it's Photoshopped.

My nephew and his daughter encounter an unexpected swimming mate. Actually, it’s Photoshopped.

 

 

 

 

There’s shark activity off the NC coast this week. My family and I are about ten days from driving down to the feeding grounds for two weeks’ of sun ‘n sand ‘n shark bites.

One hapless swimmer was nipped at a beach to the south of where we’re staying. Her boogie board has two very nice impressions gouged out of either side of the Styrofoam carcass. The kind dentists use to make a dental impression. Say ahhhh!

Two others, a boy and a girl, lost portions or all of an arm at the next beach up. In the surf. In the afternoon. Not far from the beach’s pier where fishers have been chumming the waters around the stilted wooden structure. Both were left arm injuries. Apparently liberal sharks.

They were tiger sharks — or bull sharks, say the experts.

According to one website, you are more likely to die from bee, wasp or other insect stings than at the jaws of a shark. Actually, twenty more times likely to die from a cow bite.

Doesn’t take the attention off that meeting of land and sea, though. I’m sure the victims could care less about the remote chances of being bitten by a shark.

My youngest daughter says all sharks need to be killed. Yeah — that’s the spirit … kill the bad beasties.

Meanwhile I’m following Katharine and half a dozen other tagged sharks who meander up and down the east coast. Ba-bum … ba-bum … But it’s not the tagged sharks that cause the heartbeat to flutter.

The shark killed by humans ratio to human’s killed by sharks is something like a million to one each YEAR! I’ll bet the sharks don’t like those odds one bit. American Pharoah stood worse odds of losing the Triple Crown than sharks have of surviving the slaughter of their species.

Imagine what the shark newspapers are saying? What the headlines are … Keep Your Dorsals, Avoid Japan! And any other country’s waters where men worship shark parts over Viagra.

You know who’s fault this is, right?

Peter Benchley.

He’s not around to kick, though. And actually, Benchley became an advocate of shark protection before he died.

Spielburg runs a close second. And he is still around.

Then there’s Shark Week as well as the Sharknado film series.

Oh, god — if we can’t get hysterical over something …

Thank god for Donald Trump and comic relief.

Copyright © by Lawrence S. Marsden, 17 June, 2015
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6 Responses to “Shark!”

  1. Outlier Babe June 17, 2015 at 11:18 pm #

    Chumming? Hadn’t heard that. Jeez. And at a swimming and surfing beach.

    • skipmars June 17, 2015 at 11:52 pm #

      We in the South, girl.

      • Outlier Babe June 18, 2015 at 12:20 am #

        Ha ha ha! I lived in the state that starts with F, Skip. No beating that one. But I’m in La-La Land, now, We have our own special stupidity in this city and its state.

  2. Sharmishtha June 18, 2015 at 3:32 am #

    sharks are pretty scary!

    • skipmars June 18, 2015 at 11:42 am #

      I imagine that people are pretty scary to sharks these days …

  3. RoSy June 20, 2015 at 10:21 am #

    LOL on your daughter’s shark comment. 😉

    Have a fun & dafe trip!

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