Honor, phishing and identity theft

5 Feb

Honor, phishing and identity theft

By L. Stewart Marsden


I’m not a member of the NRA, nor do I own a gun, but I’m really close to changing that.

About a month ago I received an email from someone I knew. In the email was the statement “open these attachments immediately!”

Because of the situation with this person, I clicked on a link that took me to Google, and several of my own pieces of writing appeared.

What the – ? How the heck did he get my documents?

I know all of you savvy techies are shaking your heads and clucking, tch! tch!

I’d been phished. Had. Horn-swaggled! Put over a barrel! Scammed!

That was about six weeks ago, and I ran my filter and other fix-ums software and figured the worst is over.

Oh, no. Not that simple.

So I coincidentally listened to an NPR report on phishing, identity theft – and something new to me: file hostage-taking. As I listened and learned about the evil and nasty thing hackers and others – the Chinese and the North Koreans and the Russians and all the other BAD GUYS in the world – are doing, it hardened my heart another layer. Even the FBI, CIA and other law enforcement cannot do anything about it!

I’m a self-proclaimed curmudgeon anyway, but those roots have now traveled down the backside of my buttocks, as Forrest Gump would say, down the sides of my thighs and calves (no, this is not an X-rated description), through my heels and along my plantar faciitus to finally split my toes and dig into the ground beneath me!

I’m pissed!

Maybe a thousand years ago there used to be something called “honor among men.” Even “honor among thieves!” But guess what? There is NO honor in Mudville! Civility and common decency have STRUCK OUT!

Obviously my little problem pales in comparison to the other ills in the world that hit the headlines almost hourly.

But, I’m still pissed!

Some jackass – who for whatever reason has it in for Bill Gates and Microsoft, or who got dumped by his girlfriend for uploading to Facebook a nude selfie she sent him, OR lost his job dipping the fries basket at MacDaddies when he picked up a couple of undone fries off the floor and tossed them into the hot oil, has really – REALLY – PISSED ME OFF!!

Obviously this worm, this virus, this evil incarnation of ones and zeros that is wreaking havoc on my computerized life, has dug itself deeply into the cranial cracks and crevices of my PC. Which PCees me off again!

But, I’ll survive this.

Change my debit card for the 4th time in three months. Scrap my PC and buy – ugh! – a cheap Dell. Reboot my vital information.

You, whoever you are − don’t have the capability to survive; to change. You are cast in a mold that relegates you to common hoodlisms, pecking about and doing damage where you will just for spite. You are raca (Matthew 5:22)! Go ahead, look it up. It’s in what is called a dictionary. 

But remember, whoever you are – wherever you are and operate . . . be fair warned!

I’m like Batman! The elderly version, to be sure. Or Liam Neeson – just a tad uglier, maybe. Or Clint the Squint Eastwood – only not so lean.

One day, sometime, somewhere, when you least expect it, someone will come up to you and say,

“Smile! You’re on Candid-we’re-locking-you-up-for-the-rest-of-your-life-you-low-life-scumbag-hacker-Camera!”

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your and your family’s crotches for eternity!

Yeah, I’m pissed.



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