No offense meant

27 Jul

I have no idea who came up with the following joke. I’ve kind of made it my own over the years. It has resulted in a few yuks. Again, for the religiously sensitive, I mean no offense!

Photo from Wikipedia

So Peter is at the Golden Gates sending people through to Heaven, or to the other place. He’s had a particularly rough day, and sees Jesus walking down the Golden Highway.

“Hey, Jesus!”

“Yeah, Pete?”

“Think you could spell me for awhile? It’s been a crusher day and I could stand a cigarette and a cup of Holy Java.”

“No problem!”

So the Lord takes over and an old, old man struggles up to the desk.

Jesus asks the old man, “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, in life I was a carpenter.”

Jesus takes notes.

“And, I had a most unusual son, who had nails in his hands, and nails in his feet.”

The Lord looks up and scrutinizes the old man carefully, then asks,


The man looks back hopefully,




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