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O Come, Thou Knight

4 May

I’m sharing this first story from “Through the Glass Darkly,” available on Amazon.com for download or paperback. I will share a few of the shorter pieces over the next few months, and keep them posted for only a short time. Your comments are solicited and appreciated. LSM.

O Come, Thou Knight

She allowed him to come to her every night. Willed him to on some nights. What he did was monstrous, but at the same time, exhilarating. Some might label her a victim, but she was not; she was a willing participant. She welcomed the act – reveled in its dichotomy of hell and heaven.

The night could come none too soon. The drag of day was to her tedious and tiresome, and she was all but exhausted by the time the sizzling sun finally dipped down beyond the deep wood. And the burnt day, with its moist, cottony, heavy air, cooled as it darkened; became fresh again, with the stirring of nocturnal breezes and the easy, calming night symphony of its unseen orchestra: crickets and katydids; tree frogs and night owls. Their blended melodies lifted to the brushing sound of swaying oaks and elms; mixing and stirred into a concoction so potent that even the long dead sat up fully awakened from their sleep.

More than ease from her pain and distance from her troubles, he brought her a new life; a movement towards meaningfulness she had never before experienced. He was, in a word, the Christ of her newness, and he had appeared at that precise moment that she teetered precariously between despair and oblivion, over the yawing crevices beneath her that disappeared into nothingness.

A gust of night wind, the sateen curtain billows in the breeze, and he is there, silhouetted against a harvest moon just cresting above the deep wood. Effortlessly, gracefully, he glides to her bed, where she is prone and awaiting him, barely concealed in her night clothes. He kneels and stares at her, his eyes barely visible in their deep sockets. He hums along with the night orchestra, and soothes her all the more. He touches her arm lightly, on the soft skin in her arm joint, where her veins are palpable, throbbing and pulsing to his finger tips. It tickles, it is so very light. It is so sensuous, and her long legs begin to stir and rub rhythmically, like the tide, and she feels her womanhood flow.
All is one. The night. The moon. The cool breeze. The orchestra of sounds. His touch on her arm. The throbbing in her veins, in her legs, in her mind.

She tips her head back, revealing her neck in the bathing moonlight; feeling its prickly light lightly illumining her throat; her veins stretching; her muscles stretching and tensing; the throbbing moving from her loins to her arm to her neck. His light touch circling, cooling, moistening her arm; his shadow enveloping her – the shroud of a mystical blanket – a final and simple gown.

The prick on her skin. Light. Painless. More than painless – climactic. Not fearful nor dark nor monstrous nor unwelcomed nor uninvited. A quick prick. And then both warmth and cool. Warm on her arm and cool on her face, as another spritely, turning breeze danced through the window and slipped about them both.
She closed her eyes, and then opened them one last time. She smiled genuinely at him, and softly whispered,

“Thank you!”

He said nothing, and stroked her brow gently, combing wisps of her hair with his fingers.

He stood, and returned to the window, his graceful body once again silhouetted by the big moon in the sky. And then he was gone.

Of a time she arose. No pain. No troubles. No tedium. No exhaustion. She turned and looked at the woman on the bed. Old. Tired. But resting. At peace.

She spun giddily toward the window, tears on her cheeks, the fresh breath of a breeze cupping her face. She was silhouetted against the large moon, and she spread apart the sateen curtains, and was gone.

Copyright © 2012 by Lawrence S. Marsden

Cassandra: The Story of Casey and Alexandra

23 Mar

Cassandra

The Story of Casey and Alexandra

Chapter Six: The Obit

 

Miller-Sigmon

HICKORY — Cassandra Miller-Sigmon, age 18, died Thursday, April 23 at her home on 68 4th Street Court NW in Hickory, NC.

Miller-Sigmon is survived by Dana Sigmon, her biological mother, Glenn Thomas, her biological father, and David and Cathy Miller, her “operative-transplant” parents.

Miller-Sigmon was preceded in death by her operative-transplant sister, Casey Miller, and by her pre-operative self, Alexandra Sigmon.

Miller-Sigmon, an honorary graduate of St. Stephens High School, was accepted into the pre-med program at Duke University, but had to delay her entrance due to medical conditions.

Services for Miller-Sigmon will be held at Drum Funeral Home on Saturday, April 25 at the chapel. A joint Jewish-Christian celebration will be observed. Details are pending. A memorial to be held at Hickory Lake will follow the chapel service.

No flowers. Please direct financial gifts in Cassandra’s name to the Jaska O. Talgerian Center for Brain Transplants, P.O. Box 2861, Omaha, Nebraska 28102.

Cassandra: the story of Casey and Alexandra

23 Mar

Cassandra
The Story of Casey and Alexandra

Chapter Five: The Choices

Once I heard it is better to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission.

I feel like that’s what happened in my case.

The Phil Show just served to celebratize me more. My mom got a hunk of money for appearing, as did the Millers.

I declined the whole circus — I’m now 19 and the age of majority, so Mom couldn’t “persuade” me to go on air. That’s not what I’m about.

And I’ve had paparazzi and media following me everywhere since I emerged after nearly two years’ of operations and therapies and Lord knows what else.

Counseling. Lots of counseling. World-famous therapists from European countries and little back-alley clinics.

For all of them, it’s not really about me. It’s about them. What they can get out of it. How they can attach their names and careers to the ridiculously famous Cassandra.

Publicists and publishers. Movie and TV producers.

Even stalkers.

“I love you for your mind,” said one chronic emailer. I’m not sure how he got my email address. Probably hacked it.

Cassandra.

That’s my new identity. Take Casey and Alexandra and what do you get?

Fits, right? After all, I’m no longer Alexandra Sigmon. My original body — my shell — died and was peeled back and thrown to the researchers who clamored for the discarded meat and bones of my past existence.

And, I’m really not Casey Miller, though I sure as hell look like her. Casey’s soul left her long before the surgeons cut the final wires to her days-dead brain. Just a pulpy hard drive with a blown motherboard. Good for nothing. Great body, though.

When her parents were first allowed to meet this new person I am, her mom was both shocked and elated at the same time. I thought at the time she was going to have a heart attack — or maybe explode because of the inconsistencies that were racing through her body and mind.

I remember her approaching timidly, and taking my — Casey’s — hand in hers (at the time I couldn’t feel it) and bending over to whisper “Praise Jesus!” in my ear.

Growing up culturally Jewish, it didn’t really do much for me.

I think my hand involuntarily twitched in hers — circuits trying to fire up — and she smiled broadly and looked up to the ceiling, tears tracing mascara-stained rivulets from her big blue eyes.

Adjustments. From the beginning. Slow and deceptive, I thought later.

I say deceptive because the only fair thing to do would be to let me have the truth at the beginning, when I came out of my safe, comfortable coma.

Just tell me: you aren’t you and you never will be you again. Then fill in the details.

That would have been the honest thing to do.

After all, nothing close to honest had occurred prior to and during the transplant.

Mom overruled Dad on her decision. She had legal custody. Dad was too much of an emotional wreck at the time to be able to stand up for me like I would have wanted him to.

I didn’t have a Living Will, after all.

What 16-year-old does?

Nothing that attested legally to what I wanted. So, I had no say in the matter.

No choice.

And, poor Casey!

Well, actually she had already fled her broken and dying body. What good was it, as athletic and beautiful as it had once been?

Her mom proclaimed that Casey would live on in — what — me? Or would it be I would live on in Casey?

Either way, she said she had prayed about it, and the pain in her knees could never match the pain in her heart.

Then there was Jaska Talgerian. I’d say “doctor,” but I’d have to add “witch” before it.

I remember the old black and white horror film, “Frankenstein,” with Boris Karloff as the monster. How wild and maniacal was Frankenstein, racing about his laboratory with trusty Igor at his side . . . “walk this way” — I still laugh at that!

Elevating the puzzle-pieced body of his experiment to the top of the tower. The lightning striking — zapping down along metal chains and wires and other scientific-looking apparatus.

Bringing the body back down into the lab, and Frankenstein listening to the monster’s heart with a stethoscope.

“He’s alive! He’s alive!” he shouted in strained ecstasy.

Talgerian didn’t perform that operation for me or for Casey or our parents. He did it for himself.

He’s the one who has continued to profit. Oh, God how he has made out!

And, to demonstrate his innate generosity, he has slipped hundreds of thousands of dollars to Mom and the Millers from all of the proceeds that have come his way as a result of my being alive.

The only sane voice I’ve heard has been that of the ethicist, Hensley Giodarva, who posed the question not only on the Dr. Phil show, but everywhere she speaks:

What about considering Alexandra’s well-being? Would it not have been kinder, more humane, to allow her to die naturally from her injuries?

Bravo! Well said, I say.

Again, this was never about me. It was about how everybody else felt.

Mom was feeling tremendous guilt at driving through the intersection and not seeing Casey turning into the lane ahead.

Cathy Miller? Well, Casey’s mom, in my opinion, was living an extended existence through Casey. Casey was the genetic coupling of her dad’s athleticism with her mom’s looks. David Casey had been an all-state high school athlete in football and basketball, and but for a career-ending injury on the field, had eyes for a full athletic ride to a major university.

Instead, he got his associate’s degree in engineering at Catawba Community College, and started on his ladder to success in construction.

Cathy was arm candy — Homecoming Queen at Hickory High — and the most popular girl in her Hickory-centric world.

The David-Cathy coupling produced their lone offspring, and Casey was a delight from the beginning, so Cathy has told me.

She has made it her business to tell me e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about her daughter. She spent hours showing me photos of Casey from day one when I was able to “receive” information and stimulation in the hospital.

Sadly, I keep seeing the disappointment in her eyes when I don’t let Casey “come through,” as she puts it.

She thinks the DNA holds Casey’s personality, I guess. If she even knows what DNA is, that is.

Me — Alexandra, that is — was so far in the other extreme from Casey that this combination, at times, strikes me ironic and hilarious.

I mean, if God was behind this event, what a grand old time he must have had thinking it up.

What if we . . . (I think God always uses “we” when referring to himself) did this to Casey and Alexandra?

Kind of like his experiment with Job. Have you considered my servant Job, he asked Satan, who was wandering about looking for something to do. That’s my translation.

I remember watching a Youtube video of Bert Parks, who used to emcee the Miss America beauty contest.

“There she is,” he sang, “Miss America . . . there she is, our ideal!”

No such song for the new me, Cassandra.

“There she is . . . the surgical manipulation of Casey and Alexandra into Cassandra . . . there she is, so surreal!”

That would be the song. I can hear Bert singing it now.

No choice in the matter.

No choice at all.

No one asked.

No one considered.

No one imagined.

No one thought.

No one cared about “me.”

Only about themselves.

My mom. My dad. The Millers. Talgerian. Dr. Phil. God.

Only about themselves.

Wasn’t my choice.

Wouldn’t be my choice.

Will not continue to be my choice.

 

Cassandra: the story of Casey and Alexandra

23 Mar

Cassandra
The story of Casey and Alexandra

Chapter Four: Dr. Phil

Camera three: medium close up shot of Phil. Enlarged photos of Miller and Sigmon on green screen in b.g.

Phil: Today we will discuss one of the most controversial medical procedures to come along in decades. Similar to heart transplants, which caused a stir initially, but are now commonplace, brain transplants have been the center of medical and ethical debate since the first operation was performed three years ago in North Carolina at Carolinas Medical Center in Charlotte.

Cut to photo series:

  • Accident scene in Hickory
  • Close-up photos of the two cars
  • Jaws of life being used to cut Alexandra out of the minivan
  • Shot of both girls being worked on by EMTs, Alexandra in the foreground and Casey in the background
  • Helicopters landing in the parking lot of nearby Belle Hollow shopping center
  • The girls being gurneyed to each copter
  • The copters lifting into the air
  • At CMC helipad, the copters landing
  • Girls being unloaded and rushed by hospital attendants into the trauma center
  • Photo of Sigmon’s father and Miller’s parents through a glass door talking to a masked physician gowned in a surgical apron, blood spattered on it

Cut to Phil, Camera two: POV: Over Phil’s shoulder into the audience

Phil: We’ll be talking to the lead neurosurgeon, Dr. Jaska Talgerian, who had been working on the procedure for years and was called in to oversee this historic surgery . . .

Cut to Camera one: CU of Talgerian

Cut back to Camera two: same pov as before

Phil: And we will talk to the Millers, parents of Casey Miller, the body donor . . .

Cut to Camera one: CU of David and Cathy Miller

Cut back to Camera two: same pov as before

Phil: And to Dana Sigmon, Alexandra’s mother, and who drove one of the cars involved in the accident that day . . .

Cut to Camera one: CU of Miller

Cut back to Camera two: same pov as before

Phil: Finally, we will explore the question of ethics as well as the questionable ethics employed in the decision to perform transplanting Alexandra Sigmon’s brain into the body of Casey Miller. Dr. Hensley Giodarva, internationally-known ethicist, is with us . . .

Cut to Camera one: CU of Giodarva

Cut back to Camera three: same frame as previous

Phil: All of this and more when we return . . .

Fade. Up music. Run scroll.

Cut to commercial.

Cassandra – The story of Casey and Alexandra

17 Mar

Cassandra
The story of Casey and Alexandra

Act Three: Casey

The hospital. An ICU room. A window on one wall is obscured by plastic vertical blinds. Another window on the opposite wall looks outside, and the tops of green trees can be seen. It is cloudy outside. A large mobile cart with various monitors and screens, dials and switches, is positioned by the head of a hospital bed, upon which Casey lies. The head of the bed is slightly inclined. Numerous wires extend from various places on Casey to the cart. An IV is hung from a post extending from the head of the bed, and a bag of clear liquid drips its contents into a tube that winds down to a bandaged insertion point on Casey’s arm. She lies on her back, her arms extended to her sides. Her eyes are closed.

A tube is fastened to her neck, and leads back to a machine that pumps air into Casey at a regular rate.

The noises include the breathing machine, and various beeping sounds, including a heart monitor with its regular, constant beep-beep-beep.

Casey’s mom and dad are seated on one side of the still girl. Her mom is closer, and her father sits a bit back, convulsing with sobs that he attempts to keep muted, but to no avail. In the background are overhead calls for various doctors to go to various places in the hospital.

Casey’s mom: (Looking up in response to a question, speaking to the Audience) Are you kidding? My Casey was – is — beautiful – inside and out! There isn’t anything about her that anyone dislikes.

Casey’s dad: (Wiping his eyes with a damp handkerchief) Nothing they didn’t like.

Casey’s mom: Even now – even in her hospital bed – she’s a beautiful angel!

Casey’s dad: (Blowing his nose) An angel.

Casey’s mom: My Casey has everything going for her! Beautiful, athletic, out-going . . . she is the perfect daughter . . . she has a smile that brightens everyone’s day . . . an innocence that is unmatchable – untouchable!

Casey’s dad: (Continuing to weep in a high-pitched, hiccuppy sound) Untouchable.

Casey’s mom: Look at her! (motions to the still, unmoving form of her daughter) She’s asleep, is all! Her skin is pink and vibrant still! Look! See her chest rise? She is breathing, by God!

Casey’s dad: Breathing.

(A nurse in blue scrubs, mask and hair cover enters and crosses to the bed. She pulls out a blood pressure cuff and wraps it around the girl’s arm, then inserts the end of her stethoscope under the cuff and adjusts the earpieces, pumping the black bulb several times. She quickly scans the various monitors that are attached to Casey by dozens of leads, and notates the values of each in a chart, which she hooks back on the life-support cart next to the bed. She turns to leave and makes eye contact with Casey’s mom, and then looks down and exits DR)

Casey’s mom: On the hour they come in and do that. Take her blood pressure and look at the monitors. Then write something down. They think she’s dead. They think we’re crazy to keep her hooked up to life support. They think we should let her go.

Casey’s dad: (Softly, weeping) Let her go.

Casey’s mom: But it’s not up to us, is it? I mean, we’re not in control, are we? God is in control. And until I hear God tell me to let Casey go – to turn life support off – we will believe that everything is possible when God is honored and His will is obeyed.

Casey’s dad: His will.

Casey’s mom: Amen! Jesus said if you have faith the size of a mustard seed – a mustard seed! Know how big a mustard seed is? You can hardly see it, by God! It’s tiny!

Casey’s dad: Tiny.

Casey’s mom: I’ve got that kind of faith! I can believe that one day – like Lazarus – my Casey is going to open her eyes and sit up and shake these monitors from her arms and legs and head and jump onto the floor and walk out of this place! And it won’t matter that the doctors and nurses and administrators and anybody else here didn’t believe! It is the power of God to work and act in the spiritual world and do things no doctor could ever accomplish!

Casey’s dad: Believe.

Casey’s mom: So, they can think what they want. It doesn’t make any difference. It doesn’t matter. Because my tiny faith is going to release the power of the Universe. The One who flung everything that is into being is capable and able to do wondrous things. He is able. It does not matter that no one else believes. Jehovah God will prevail!

Casey’s dad: Doesn’t matter.

Casey’s mom: Yes, it doesn’t matter.

© L. Stewart Marsden, March 17, 2013

Cassandra – the story of Casey and Alexandra

17 Mar

Cassandra
The story of Casey and Alexandra

Chapter Two: Alexandra

They say people who are in comas can hear everything around them.

That really wasn’t my experience. Frankly, it would have been counter-productive in my case.

What I needed was what I got: deep, deep sleep.

I don’t think being aware of all the machines keeping my body alive, or the incomings and outgoings of the medical personnel, or my father at my bedside, and then my mother, and then their arguing, would have done anything but stress me out.

What my coma did, in addition to isolating and protecting me from the chaos around me in the physical world, was to give me the opportunity to wander about in my memories.

It gave me a unique perspective to look at things that happened to me and to reconfigure how I understood them. I changed my mind on a whole bunch of things, like, who my friends were and who should be my friends. Or how my nerdiness wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me (I had already had that sermon preached to me a gazillion times by Mom, but had never believed it before). Or, how maybe Hickory wasn’t the absolutely stupidest town to grow up in, and maybe how I should think about staying – or coming back after college.

So I had a chance, in my deep, watery state of mind, to reconcile a lot of stuff.

And an extra bonus was memories I would have never been able to dredge up in a conscious state. Like my birthday – my literal birthday!

Like the feel of linoleum floor when I crawled into the kitchen, and grabbed that piece of onion skin and popped it into my mouth. Then not able to get air – and the desperation and panic that shot through me as I choked.

Or finding dead flies in the living room, feet up on the carpet under the windows. They are crunchy and a bit on the sour-side as far as taste goes, by the way.

Not moment-by-moment memories. More of a highlight reel that featured things like smells and textures and sounds and “aha” moments – as when I first understood a word.

The nice thing was I didn’t feel rushed going through my memoric exhibition. That’s what I called it: Alexandra’s Memoric Exhibition.

I strolled leisurely down corridors, stopping to pluck a memory from here or there.

I found they were categorized for me. For example, I could go down one hallway and turn left at its end, and on the left, a bit higher than I could reach flatfooted, were memories of kindergarten. The classroom, my teachers, the other students.

And color-coded. The cool colors – greens and blues – were nondescript memories. The yellow-orange-red colors were more emotional in nature. The black ones were a bit scary, and I had to repeatedly tell myself they were only memories, and also they were colored by my age and development at the time they occurred.

Still, the black- colored memories were ones I decided to leave on the shelf, for the most part.

And, there was appropriate music and smells. Some were inviting, some were bland, at best, and some – well, you can imagine. One whole hallway, I am certain, was dedicated to gastrointestinal memories, and I thought, once you’ve smelled one of those events, you’ve pretty much smelled them all.

Lemon. That was my favorite odor. Sweet and tangy.

There were memories you couldn’t smell, like sugar and salt – that had to be tasted to be distinguished.

One of my memories was thinking I had found a part of a bit of popcorn under the dining room table. Obviously I wasn’t able to reason well at the time, because we never ate popcorn in the dining room.

But, like the onion skin before, into my mouth went the “popcorn.”

It was a mothball – or p-dichlorobenzene (I looked it up once). Mom used it to pack with her sweaters for storage so the moths wouldn’t eat holes in her clothing. How it got under the dining room table wasn’t in my collection of memories, but my reaction to it was. Gastrointestinal!

The pleasanter memories were warm breezes, and the sound of the surf at the beach – partially-muted voices of children playing in the neighborhood as I was roused to awareness from a nap in my crib. Uncontrolled laughs, and the sweet succulence of a ripe plum. The smell of my dad’s aftershave and the comforting cushion of my mom’s breast.

So, no. I don’t remember hearing anything in my stay while I was in the ICU those first hours and days.

It’s just as well.

There wasn’t anything I could do about it, anyway.

© L. Stewart Marsden, March 17, 2013

Cassandra – the story of Casey and Alexandra

16 Mar

The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Cassandra – the story of Casey and Alexandra

by L. Stewart Marsden

Chapter One

Two teens conditions critical after two-car collision
Investigation ongoing

From Staff Reports

HICKORY — Two Hickory teenagers were seriously injured Friday afternoon in a two-car collision on NC 127.

Casey Miller, 17, and Alexandra Sigmon, 16, were in two separate cars that struck each other at the intersection of 29th Avenue NW and NC 127 around 4:30 p.m., according to Sgt. Alice Reynolds, Hickory Police Department traffic investigator.

Miller, the driver of a white Honda Civic, was turning onto NC 127 north from 29th coming west. Dana Sigmon, 54, mother of Alexandra, was driving the second car, a Dodge minivan, heading north on NC 127, according to Reynolds.

“Mrs. Sigmon drove through the intersection and struck the Miller car on the driver’s side with the front right of the minivan,” said Reynolds.

The Sigmon teen was in the front passenger seat of the minivan, she said.

Considerable damage occurred to both vehicles.

Emergency responders form the nearby fire station had to cut Sigmon out of the minivan using jaws of life (see video on http://www.hickorytimes.com).

Miller was pulled from her Civic with few visible injuries, but sustained head trauma, said Reynolds.

EMT personnel were able to stabilize each teen in critical condition, and both were life flighted by helicopter to the trauma center at Carolina Medical Center in Charlotte. Both were immediately taken into surgery and are listed in critical condition, according to a spokesperson from the medical center.

Sigmon’s mother was taken to Frye Regional Medical Center for treatment. Her condition is unknown, but thought to be non life threatening, said Reynolds.

Reynolds would not comment on the cause of the accident other than to say the investigation is ongoing.

Miller is a senior at Hickory High School where she is captain of the girls’ basketball team and an all-state pitcher on the softball team.

Miller’s parents could not be reached for comment, as they have gone to Charlotte to be with their daughter.

Sigmon is an honors student and early senior at St. Stephens High School. She has been accepted early admissions at Duke University, and has plans to study microbiotics, according to Glenn Thomas, her father.

“She is such a bright girl,” said Thomas. “I know all her friends are praying for her.” Thomas was reached by cell phone at the medical center.

Traffic was detoured away from the intersection by police, which was not expected to be reopened until early Saturday morning, according to Reynolds.

For continuing updates, go online to http://www.hickorytimes.com.

Cassandra – the story of Casey and Alexandra

16 Mar

Cassandra
The story of Casey and Alexandra

by L. Stewart Marsden

Preface

I have never felt in control of my life — and that’s from the very beginning. I mean, think about it (which I have): you don’t chose when or where or into what family you are born. You have no control over how smart, or innately talented you are. Life presents you with a host of events over which you are helpless to determine — or the consequences that follow your reactions to those happenings.

Robert Frost wrote about the road not taken, and the difference that choice made.

See? Even when you do have choices, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t!

The what-ifs pile up over time and stalk you like a giant ogre for the rest of your life!

They say that if you could go back and change things, everything from that moment on would be horribly altered — significantly different. What’s so wrong with that, I say?

Perhaps the lives of many would be better! Perhaps someone who had a really crappy existence would be able to exceed their wildest dreams because you went back and took the other road.

I mean, Frost only said that had made all the difference. Difference! Not, disaster or doom or destruction! Difference. He never said it was good or bad. Just, different.

People say all the time, “I wouldn’t change a thing!” B-U- double hockey sticks!

I would.

I’d change EVERYTHING!

First — when I was born. Maybe during the 16th century. And where — England. And maybe I would be born into the Hathaway family, and they would name me Anne. And I would meet and fall in love with a young poet. Not so handsome — but who would posses a beautiful mind.

And he would immortalize me in sonnets and plays.

He would die before me — exactly on his birthday. And I would die in my thirties, seven years later.

And a famous actress would take my name centuries later.

What would be so wrong with that? What colossal damage would that make?

If I could have stood on the edge of heaven and looked over the ages, and have selected that road instead of the one I’m now on?

If I could have turned to God with a daughter’s knowing look — one that said “That time, that place, that family, that name — please.”

What loving father can refuse his daughter?

What loving father would hand her a stone? A burden none other has borne? Or could bear? Or, would take on?

Not my choice. Not the road I would have taken.

If I could do it again, I would not have taken that road that day, and would have definitely left it for another day.

– Cassandra

Through the Glass Darkly now available on Amazon

10 Oct

At last!

After all of the rewriting and editing and formatting and revising and posting and revising and editing and rewriting – Through the Glass Darkly is online at Amazon.com under books under L. Stewart Marsden and ready for either purchase (paperback) or free download for Kindle!

Thanks to Ray Ferrer for his wonderful illustrations. Not sure the printing process does his work justice, but you be the judge.

Thanks to my daughter-in-law for her edits and Russian translations for Petya i volk.

And thanks to my son, Graham, for his patience with me and for formatting the book. It was a bear!

So, go and check it out!

Through the Glass Darkly coming to an Amazon near you . . .

10 Sep

 

 

The above is the cover design for my short story compilation, “Through the Glass Darkly.” It was laid out by my son, Graham Marsden (see Graham’s Story), and uses Ray Ferrer’s wonderful illustration talents. Ray’s blog is http://www.urbanwallart.wordpress.com.

This is my first attempt at a self-published work, and I am both excited as well as very nervous. Now comes the final uploading, once I’ve gone over it with a fine-toothed comb. Inevitably there will be mistakes. This will be a learning experience, no doubt.

To those of you for whom this is old hat, my hat’s off to you. I invite you, once it has been published by Amazon, to get either a hard copy, or an electronic download. I also invite your input and criticism.

There are fifteen short stories, some way longer than probably what a short story should be. Again, a learning experience. Not all stories have been illustrated. Most have, however. I’m really pleased with the job Ray did.

Consequently, I have removed all of the short stories that appear in the book from my blog, and will begin compiling new stories as they attack me.

Your fellow blogger,

L. Stewart (Skip) Marsden

 

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