The Proctor, or observations of the testees

The Proctor
or, observations of the testees
by L. Stewart Marsden

I don’t care about this test,
don’t give a damn ’bout all the rest
of things they do to see me through
my childhood years.

One hundred eighty days I sit
While teachers fill me full of sh*t
I’ll never use — it’s all a ruse –
I’m bored to tears!

My life is thirteen blocks away
and don’t begin till end of day
when “Uncle Ben” and all his “friends”
knock on my door.

With just a simple little smile
Why, I can dress myself in style;
Don’t need to know ’bout Idaho
or nothin’ more.

I just give my skirt a hike
for any John or Juan or Mike
they gladly pay whate’er I say,
you can bet.

So please don’t bother me
with these lousy EOGs,
’cause I’ll get laid without the grades –
my future’s set.